Wow. 4.5 months.

Where do I even begin? I broke things off with Cathy this summer, after another mounting sexual situation, only to not have things work out with the 3 other girls I asked out. I tried once again to be friends with Cathy, only to not have that work out either.

Do I like someone? Yes. I do.

But, I must admit, there's been a huge, huge change in my life. I went from hardcore pothead, to hardcore christian. So much of a change, that I'm currently not trying to date anyone, but instead pursuing God.

I move out in 3 days!!! Boy, is that exciting. I am debating whether or not I want to date when I get to my dorm. I'm leaning towards no right now, but we will see how things work out.

The girl I like now, I spent last night with, stargazing. (Oh so typical, yes I know.) She is 21, and has a beauty that just radiates. But, like me, she is going away to college as well. I would kind of like to see where things go when we both graduate, if life works out that way.

I can say with pleasure that I am more content now, now that I've decided to stop looking and spend less time with my druggie friends, and concentrate on God and hang out with Christian friends most of the time. No offense to anyone not christian and/or who does drugs, I just don't want to go back to smoking pot 3-5 times a day, and smoking a pack of cigarettes a day, and then going out and getting drunk/partying at night. It broke me.

So yes, I have been very much so busy, and... well Cathy is that hardcore christian girl, to jog your memories. The bible studies and such that I go to, she also attends. But it is okay. I am leaving soon, so the amount of time that I see Cathy will be decreasing significantly. This is the first time in my life that I can honestly say, it doesn't bother me when I have dreams about her with other guys. The thing is, she's been with other guys for real. I'm over her, mostly. I mean, I still don't want to see her with another guy, but that's more about me not having anyone, than it is about her having someone.

Hopefully I'll be back before another 4 months go by, but that is yet to be seen. I have 6 classes and 1 non-credit class, and I'll be working, and actively involved with a church to top it off. I'm excited to just get out of my house.

Adieu.

So.. its a Saturday night, and I just got off work.

Tonight, I'm kind of nervous, I'm going on a double date. I'll be alright, I always get the jitters like this.

But yeah, going out to a movie, then I'm not sure. I'm really excited too. Guess we'll see what happens.

I guess it's time for an update.

Cathy - said.. in an e-mail to me.. she now wants to see me over spring break.

I was very careful in how I worded my response to her. I said "I wouldn't mind seeing you." I made very sure that I didn't sound excited, or give her any reason to think I was really looking forward to it at all. She joked back that she would have to see if she wouldn't mind fitting me into her schedule.

Well, let me be blunt here.. I like more than one person, and I'm not sure if Cathy fits in there or not. I'll have to see.. when I see her.

I want to go visit a girl I haven't seen in nearly 15 years sometime in the summer. I definitely like this girl. Yeah, I haven't seen her since I was 7, but I've been talking to her alot lately and I love talking to her. We were out of contact for 8-9 years, but we were pen pals for the other 6.

So yes.. I will be seeing Cathy.. hope it goes well.

As for now, Alexa and Natasha are really just out of the picture. I'm not really worried about anything anymore either. Life goes on.